Here Goes Nothing

I've been inspired by a close friend of mine to put my thoughts and realizations out there. I'm really doing this for myself so that I can see where I've come from and where I'm headed to. Most of my friends know that I'm bipolar and have fibromyalgia. I am finally feeling human again now that all of my medications seem be just the right combo for me. I just turned 35 and Andrew and I are that stage of life where we feel the need to focus on having a child. I'm really nervous about doing this because I know that I'm going to have to stop taking some of my medications in order to do everything safely. I haven't made any appointments yet, but I plan to meet with an obgyn and hopefully come up with a plan that my psychiatrist and she agree on.
On a totally different subject, I had a train of thought today that gave me a new perspective to my life. The thought pattern started with me looking at a tree in bloom, which led down the path to the house that we lived in in Mountlake Terrace. Andrew and I have always been rather messy and unorganized, but there has definitely been an increase since the Mountlake Terrace house. I know that Andrew and I started out trying to keep things organized, and we really didn't do too bad of a job when we lived in apartments. While doing a little self analyzing, I came to the conclusion that when we're in an apartment we have this need to make sure that we don't give the managers any reason to put us on the "to watch" list. It's as if we know that we are really taking care of someone else's stuff, and we want to make sure we do a good job. So I had to ask myself, why am I more prone to take good care of someone elses stuff and then turn around and not really care for what I can claim as mine. I then realized that I should make an effort to take care of my things because my things should be way more valuable in my eyes than someone elses things. I wish I had a more elequent way to put my thoughts out there, but the point I'm trying make is that I'm worth it. I know that this sounds cliche, but if it helps to give me the inspiration I need, then I'm gonna stick with it.
It's 3 in the morning, so I'm heading off to bed. I'm thinking that I'm going to go to the 5pm staff meeting tomorrow and skip the morning one. I might just be feeling a little manic right now, but I'll try to reign it in. See if I can keep up with this blogging thing. It's a nice new way to journal.